At the conclusion of the Emperor Pilaf Saga, Goku had decided to return to Master Roshi’s Island to obtain more training in order to become a better fighter. Arriving at Kame House, we find the extremely lustful and perverty Roshi is watching an exercise video … very intently. In response to Goku’s request for training, Roshi agrees … in return for Goku finding him a girl.
Roshi’s list of sexual harassment is long enough to overshadow Jimmy Saville’s and Rolf Harris’ combined |
Goku returns initially with a very muscular woman, and then a mermaid (who punches Roshi in the face when he tried to flirt with her with all the subtleness of a bulldozer in a bull shop). At this point a small bald boy appears on the island.
[Insert bald joke here] |
As someone who grew up with Dragon Ball Z, I instantly know this as Krillin, though he does look very chunky and compact compared to his older version I am more familiar with. Roshi refuses to train Krillin, until Krillin provides him with some porn magazines.
Erm |
Roshi agrees to train them both if they can find him a girl, so they both set off on the Nimbus (well, Goku does. Krillin has to hang onto Goku because the Nimbus won’t support his unpure heart).
We are then introduced to Launch, a curious character who transforms between a sweet, innocent blue headed girl to a badass, killer highwaywoman everytime she sneezes. I honestly do not know where they come up with this stuff.
Goku and Krillin find Launch as she is fleeing from the police. She has just sneezed into her blue-form, and is thus helpless to defend herself. Goku, apparently unfamiliar with the concept of law enforcement, and Krillin, peculiarly believing the officers to be thugs in disguise, beat the policemen with ease (Goku does, anyway. Krillin goes to hide). They bring her back to Roshi’s Island (what is it with these women who are just so very willing to ride back on a cloud with two boys to an unknown place?!?!??), where Roshi spends no time tricking her into some black lingerie.
Roshi, Rolf Harris and Santa all have two things in common. One is a white beard. |
Launch then sneezes Matt-Smith-Into-Peter-Capaldi-style into blonde-Launch and proceeds to pull a machine gun out of hammerspace and spray them. They all survive (somehow) and Launch sneezes back into blue.
Krillin’s and Goku’s training apparently starts with a sprint contest. Krillin runs 100m in 10.4 seconds (using all the skills of my Physics A-Level, I can tell you that is 9.62 m/s), Goku does it in 8 seconds (12.5 m/s), and finally Roshi runs it in 5.6 seconds (17.9 m/s). This actually does a good job of showing how physically able Roshi actually is, as so far, apart from his Kamehameha wave at Fire Mountain, he’s done very little martial arting. Mostly just sexual misconduct.
Roshi then picks up a rock, writes his symbol on it, and throws it into a jungle. The test is to find the stone in 30 mins, or they wouldn’t get fed. Also the one who doesn’t find the stone doesn’t get fed either. Roshi then goes into his house to see if he can perform any more sexual indecency with Launch.
Goku uses his experience growing up in a forest to simple leap down the cliff into the jungle. Krillin uses a more pragmatic strategy. He finds a similar rock, and draws the symbol on it. Personally, despite cheating, I would actually reward such a tactic. After all, Roshi did tell them to memorise it. This could perhaps be a secret test of their thinking and cunning. However, obviously (and thankfully) I and Roshi do not think alike, and Roshi decides to reward Krillin’s pragmatism by throwing the rock into his face.
Roshi adds child abuse to his list of crimes |
Meanwhile, Goku has sniffed out the rock and is returning when Krillin finds him (Goku was falling foul to the habit a lot of TV characters share, and was talking aloud to himself). Krillin asks to see the rock and Goku just gives it to him … Yeah, I can’t defend that as innocence. That’s just pure stupidity. Krillin naturally flees and Goku chases after him, unfairly calling him a cheat. Krillin, realising that he can’t outrun Goku, challenges him to a fight. Goku just beats him and then asks for the stone. Krillin throws the fake stone into the forest, where Goku chases after it.
Maybe that hairloss is due to the amount of pragmatism Krillin is storing in his head. I’d go as far as to say brains, but no one in this anime has indicated such intelligence so far to qualify. |
In the end, Goku wins, because the dinner that Launch (who, for some reason, has appointed herself their slave and cook????) prepared is a poisonous puffer fish (Launch apparently being no expert on what fish are poisonous).
I’m rather confused as to why Blonde!Launch isn’t confused and angry that she is on this island. It would appear that Bluench and Blondench don’t share the same memory, so shouldn’t she be really confused and enraged? And trying to escape so she can perform more trainrobberies? But no, she seems just as content to stay on the island as her counterpart … if not more violently content, with all these weapons she apparently has just stored up her clothes.
Apparently in a house as big as Roshi’s, Krillin and Roshi have to bunk up, as do Goku and Launch. Launch sneezes in her sleep, and becomes violent when she wakes up to discover Goku in her bed with her. This adult woman apparently believes Goku is being a pervert, despite him being only 12, and responds by shooting him in the head …
Apparently women in the DB universe have been brought up to believe it’s fine to shoot young boys in the head. I mean, it’s not that extreme, considering males are gits, but he is 12!!! |
Goku has finally decided he has had enough of being shot at by women, and KO’s Launch by kicking her in the face. This gives Roshi the opportunity to grope her unconscious body.
Roshi is probably currently working for the BBC. |
What follows over the next three episodes is Roshi leading Goku and Krillin on a Miyagiesque training style, where he makes them deliver by foot milk for the whole island before sunrise, which requires them to run constantly, weaving through trees, swimming across the top of a waterfall, running away from dinosaurs, climbing mountains, etc. etc. After this they then have to plow an entire field by hand in a few hours, some schooling, some construction work, swimming in shark-infested lakes, and escaping an angry swarm of bees. All the while, the two kids complain about actually wanting to learn martial art moves. After the first day, Roshi proclaims their training will only get harder, as they have to do the exact same, but wearing 50 pound Turtle Shells all day. You have to feel for the kids. They do look really exhausted and I’m extremely lazy, so when I am forced to do endurance exercise, I probably feel the same.
The kids repeat their training daily, getting progressively stronger and faster.
Meanwhile Yamcha has been training in solitude in a forest for months, in preparation for the World Martial Arts Tournament. I am actually quite excited myself for this part of the saga. Fight scenes will always be what Dragon Ball and especially Dragon Ball Z will be famous for, and as a child, they were memorising to watch. Back at the island, as they are about to leave for the tournament, Roshi tells Goku and Krillin to take off their shells and jump. Free of the weights, both kids are able to leap very high.
This high. |
I remember a part in DBZ where Goku discusses how he trains in weighted clothes so he’ll be faster and stronger when he takes them off, and it’s quite satisfactory to see where that came from.
Arriving at the Western Capital City, the Turtle School team reunite with Bulma, Puar, Oolong and Yamcha, who has had a haircut. At this point, Roshi gives Goku and Krillin Turtle School uniforms to wear. My entire body got goosebumps at this scene because I recognise the uniforms to be the same outfit that both characters would wear most of the time in DBZ, and so I could literally feel the childhood riding up inside me.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
In the elimination rounds, where 137 have to be whittled down to 8, Goku, Yamcha and Krillin storm through with ease (indeed, in Goku’s first match, a mere tap of the finger is enough to knock his opponent out the ring). There is a very humorous moment where Goku tells Krillin they should pull their punches and save their full power for the finals, but then changes his mind and tells Krillin to give all he’s got when they encounter former bullies of Krillin from his old school. It’s also satisfactory to watch Krillin beat up said bullies. Krillin spends the moments up to the match literally shivering himself apart. Then the bully lunches at him and Krillin’s instincts take over and he effortless dodges and knocks the bully not only out of the ring but also through and out the building.
I feel this is a somewhat important scene for any young child who has ever been bullied. It’s also some nice mini-character development for Krillin.
A side-plot in this episode is of Bulma, Puar and Oolong attempting to watch the elimination rounds (which are closed to the public). At one point Oolong turns into a ladder which Bulma stands on, until he slips and she falls, revealing her panties to a staring crowd.
For kids. |
We then proceed to the quater-finals. Krillin is initially having trouble fighting a big, disgusting, smelly man called … Bacterian (sigh), who defeats his opponents through ‘biological warfare’. It’s as disgusting as it sounds.
This isn’t the worst of it. |
Eventually Krillin (thankfully, because I didn’t want a third episode with this character in it) defeats Bacterian when Goku points out to Krillin that he doesn’t even have a nose with which to smell Bacterian with.
“Just remember, Krillin, you don’t have a nose!” |
But … then how does he smell?!?! |
Yeah. Krillin defeats his opponent through meta dramatical irony … That’s anime for you, kids!
Meanwhile, despite him hitting on Bulma earlier, Roshi is nowhere to be seen.
This is a show for kids. It also doubles as a How To guide for interacting with kids for people like Rolf Harris and Jimmy Saville |
What we do have, however, is a old-and-very-similar-looking-martial-artist-who-is-in-no-way-Master-Roshi-in-disguse called … Jackie Chun. (sigh)
Jackie Chun fights Yamcha, and to everyone’s surprise, including mine, instead of a prolonged fight scene you’d expect from two supporting characters, Roshi Jackie Chun effortlessly dodges all of Yamcha’s strikes and then with a light clap of his hands launches Yamcha out of the ring! This causes Yamcha to suspect that Chun is Roshi, especially as they both have similar fighting moves.
Next, we are introduced to Nam, an Indian stereotype who has entered the competition in order to earn enough money to feed and water his tribe. As he is given a backstory, we are therefore suppose to care for him – and to be honest, it’s not that hard to, as he is quite a likeable character. His stereotyped accent which is obviously an imitation is the only thing letting him sound.
Nam, next to his very white voice actor, Jerry Jewell. |
Nam’s opponent is Ranfan, who’s entire fighting technique is … stripping. (For kids, people!). He strips to her underwear in order to distract Nam, but Nam is having none of her indecency, and simply closes his eyes, uses his other senses, and in one chop knocks her unconscious.
Finally we have Goku verses the very rude and mean Giran. Giran is a pterodactyl-like monster.
Rawr |
While Giran acts tough, causing a bar brawl and generally being a git, Goku spends his time just before the match napping. Even though he did this innocently, it is the biggest indirect frick you you could possibly give to Giran, and Giran rightly so feels mocked. Giran tries to threaten Goku in return, but Goku isn’t paying attention. Giran then proceeds to exploit Goku’s innocence by telling Goku he wants to show him something, before punching him. Goku, who has never been to school nor seen Blackadder Goes Forth, falls for this trick. Booooooo! Giran is a jerk! However Goku is barely even dazed by the punch, and simply responds by grabbing Giran’s tail and throwing him out of the ring hammer throw style. Everyone celebrates Goku’s victory. Because apparently not one of them has brains and has realised that Giran has wings!!!
Giran then uses something called ‘Merry-Go-Round Gum’ that shoots from his mouth and wraps Goku in rubber like rings. I have no idea why it is named so, as it does not at all resemble the fairground ride, but whatever. Goku is now unable to move as he is bound by this ‘gum’.
On the other hand, I would imagine he would be very buoyant. |
Giran then throws Goku out of the arena, but Goku saves himself with his Flying Nimbus. Giran complains this is illegal, as he is using an outside tool. Annoyingly, I have to agree. However the judge (who is a dog) decides to let Goku off this time, but forbids him from using the Cloud again. I think this is too lenient, but Giran is fine with it. He is then about to punch Goku out of the ring, when suddenly and randomly … Goku’s tail grows back and latches itself onto his Giran’s arm.
I had the exact same reaction as Giran, to be fair. |
Somehow regrowing his tail makes Goku stronger, so he bursts out of the gum (it does take him a while, but Giran decides to be all respectful and let him do it … or maybe he’s still in shock over the whole regrowing a tail thing) and then knock a massive hole into the building (which is a bit of a jerky move, Goku, someone’s gonna have to fix that). Giran decides to do the smart thing and throws in the towel. Goku, for not the last time this tournament, has made Tournament history by being the first combatant to cause his opponent to surrender in the quarter-finals. Goku and Krillin are also the youngest to get this far.
With that we move onto the semi-finals. Before then, the referee/announcer interviews the two Turtle School students, and the entire crowd gasp in awe when they learn that these two are the students of Roshi. Meanwhile Yamcha is still accusing Chun of being Roshi, with Roshi denying it. Chun then asks for an interview, steals the microphone, and does a small song and dance number.
White beard, musical ability, a history of sexual harassment. I’m starting to think Roshi is Rolf Harris. |
Then, hilariously, Goku innocently joins in, which makes this whole random scene slightly worth it.
This is actually happening. |
Krillin and Roshi Chun then proceed to fight in what is arguably the first example of an epic fight in the anime. Chun and Krillin proceed to fight at speeds which apparently only Goku can keep up with, so the announcer/referee stops them (?!?! he can do that?!?!) and them to re-enact their fight so far step-by-step (what?!?!?!). They do so (with at one point Krillin saying he blew his nose at Chun as a technique … despite Krillin having no nose???), and eventually it turns out they had a superfast rock-paper-scissors match to decide the winner of this part of the match, but instead Jackie decides to kick Krillin, at which point they ask the announcer to assist with the run-thourhg by carrying them to the points they landed to.
It’s a really weird sequence, but it’s also slightly comic, so I guess it works. I just struggle to think of a real life martial arts match where the referee would interrupt the match and ask the combatants to demonstrate what they’re doing.
Krillin then pulls out a pair of panties (?!???!?!?) to distract Chun, at which point he kicks him out of the arena. Chun uses a Kamehameha wave to blast himself back into the arena (but he also destroys someone’s house in the process … no one appears to care about this). This causes Krillin to somewhat childishly start attacking Chun wildly, allowing Chun to use an afterimage technique (where he moves so fast he leaves an afterimage of himself behind as a distraction) to get behind Krillian and chop at his neck, knocking him out for good.
Next is Nam vs. Goku. Nam attacks Goku with everything he’s got, but none of it affects Goku. Goku again demonstrates his ability to pick up techniques after observing them once and masters Chun’s afterimage technique. Goku then decides to use an attack not unlike the Tasmanian Devil.
“Ablabasfpbnaerl -buiasvdtsthsdgthppphhhhhh!!” |
The technique almost works, except Goku then becomes dizzy and falls onto the floor. Nam decides to take out Goku using his Gross Arm Dive, which requires him to leap extremely high into the air and then slam his crossed arms into Goku’s neck, without somehow shattering his own body. It at first appears to work, with Nam confidently saying Goku will wake up in 8 to 10 days, but in less than 10 seconds Goku is up. Nam assumes he did his technique wrong, and tries again, only to have Goku jump up into the sky and higher than him.
Goku then lands before Nam and kicks him out of the arena, winning the match. Nam graciously congratulates Goku on winning, before preparing to leave for his village empty handed. Roshi (who can apparently read minds, a frightening thought considering this guy is a serial sexual harasser) gives Nam a capsule that will allow him to transport a heck of a lot of water back to his village (he also apparently has to explain to Nam that water is free in the city). In return for this, he asks Nam to disguise himself as Roshi in order to throw Yamcha off his tail. It works and Yamcha believes Roshi and Chun to be two different people.The fact that Nam is brown does nothing to raise suspicion. Roshi also reveals he is trying to beat his students so they don’t become cocky, and also so they know that there is always someone more powerful than them, so they never stop training.
NOW we come to the exciting bit. For the first time, we’re about to have a multi-episode fight. Dragon Ball and in particular Dragon Ball Z are famous for their fights will stretch on for episodes and episodes and episodes. So this is rather thrilling to see the first example of it.
Chun decides that Goku is more powerful than he expected, so he needs to end the fight quickly. He decides to Kamehameha Goku out of the ring, but Goku Kamehamehamehas him back, and what we have is the first example of a Beam Struggle in the anime, as the two energy waves clash into each other. Both fighters survive and then proceed to fight by hand. Chu’s fight strategy is to simply progressively use one fighting technique after another, while Goku utilises his strength and resistance to damage, as well as his ability to quickly adapt and learn new techniques to his advantage. For example Chun uses a double afterimage (he moves so fast he leaves two afterimages behind) to strike at Goku. Goku counters with a tripple afterimage technique. Chun then uses something called the Drunken Boxing technique. All it seems to entail is Chun staggering around and flailing aimlessly and well, drunkenly. Surprisingly and oddly, it works. Goku is neither able to block nor attack Chun.
I honestly can’t put into words how crazy this is. You just have to watch it to see. |
Goku then counters with a … Crazy Monkey attack … which is him acting like a crazy monkey.
What is this show????! |
Deciding that he needs to end the match now, Chun boldly announces he has won the match, to the confusion of the announcer who needs to be taught the concept of boasting. We are then treated with this frightening image:
Now with twice the number of hands to grope you with. |
Chun then … hypnotises Goku to sleep.
We have a molester who has the ability to hypnotise someone to sleep. Truly terrifying concept. |
The referee/announcer rightly complains this isn’t a martial arts move, but Chun simply threatens to ‘sleepy boy’ him to sleep, so the announcer starts counting Goku out. He almost reaches 10 when Bulma tells Gok his dinners ready, causing his tail to become erect (even though this is an anime, there is surprisingly no sexual innuendo here) and him to wake up, to Chun’s shock. So Chun decides to shock Goku back. By electrocuting him.
Truly, a shocking experience |
This scene is actually a bit horrifying to watch. We have Chun actually torturing Goku. There is no pretence here. Chun keeps telling Goku he will progressively cause Goku more and more pain until Goku gives up. Even his friends, who have been cheering and encouraging Goku everytime he’s knocked down are telling him to give up. And it looks like Goku actually will, for he says ‘I … give …’ and then OH MY GOD IS THAT THE MOON.
Ohhh … shoot |
I was really not expecting this. I was not expecting Goku to transform into a Giant Ape so soon again and definitely not in front of so many people. Talk about plot twist.
Surprise, bitch! |
The audience (bar the Dragon Ball Team) all flee for their lives. The announcer/referee stays, because apparently he’s contractually obliged to do so and his job means more to him than his life. Chun buffs himself up to perform a massive Kamehameha wave, and Yamcha believes he’s about to drop Goku for good to save the public. Before Yamcha can tell Chun that they can deApe Goku by detailing him, Chun releases the energy wave, obliterating Goku into dust.
Well, at least that’s what the characters think. There’s still about 126 episodes of Dragon Ball left. And sure enough a naked Goku emerges from the rubble. But, what then was Chun’s target. Oh, nothing, just the Moon.
Ah, we probably didn’t need that thing anyway. |
Naturally the referee/announcer is shocked and starts complaining that we need that. However, rather than mention things like the tide and gravity, he mentions stuff like romantic nights. Clearly he needs to watch Bruce Almighty.
Also no one seems to have remembered that Monster Carrot and his Rabbit Mob were on the Moon when it was destroyed. Huh. Sucks to be them.
Goku is more than prepared to fight naked, but (thankfully) the referee objects, so Krillin lends his clothes. Both combatants are exhausted, Goku from his transformation, and Chun from his massive energy wave and destroying the Moon. Chun proposes a final charge which involves them both leaping at each other and kicking each other in the face. Both combatants faint and are out for ten seconds. Technically this is a draw, but as the tournament can’t end in a draw, it is announced that whoever stands up first and declares that ‘I am the World Champion’ wins. Goku gets up first, but faints before he can say a full sentence, which apparently doesn’t count. Jackie then gets up and declares himself the winner. He tells Goku he was able to win as he had longer legs, so could dig them into Goku’s face harder during their charge.
With that, the Tournament is over. Chun changes back into Roshi, where he intends to spend his money buying himself prostitutes. However there is a nice moment where he tells his students he is very proud of how well they did, and he takes them, as well as Yamcha, Puar, Oolong and Bulma out to dinner.
Where Big Eater Goku proceeds to eat 57 full course meals and all but spend all of Roshi’s prize money,
And so concludes the Tournament Saga. I’ll just end by making one final comment on Roshi’s voice actor. I’m unable to work out who it is, as I don’t know which dub I’m watching. However I am impressed by his ability to play both Roshi and Chun. I say this because when Chun first appeared, and before he did anything but his first set of lines, based just on his voice, I assumed that they’d got the same voice actor as Roshi for sake of convenience, but they were actually two distinct characters. However soon after it’s obvious they’re not, but even then, the voice actor does a brilliant job at voicing the two identities subtly differently.
So next time on SquishiVision, I will recap the first bit of the Red Ribbon Saga. After that, I will then proceed to do these blogs how I intended, covering a couple of episodes at a time. This means the blogs will become much shorter and more in-depth.
Until then, thanks for reading!
The Dragon Ball franchise is copyright of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. Most screen caps are thus owned by them and used in this blog under Fair Use. The Dragon Ball logo (by Toei Animation) used in this blog is also released under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.