‘Dragon Ball’ watch – my thoughts and reactions – Part 1: Emperor Pilaf Saga

So in the first part of my Dragon Ball watch, I’m going to cover the Emperor Pilaf Saga (episodes 1-13). Just to note, as I’m covering 13 episodes in one post, this will be quite long. Future posts after I’ve finished recapping the Tournament Saga and the first bit of the Red Ribbon Army Saga won’t be as they will be covering only a couple of episodes at a time.

Not to be confused with the dragon balls in this scene. Yeah, I have no idea either.

I should also probably talk a bit about the opening titles. They are a montage of what seems (as far as I can tell so far) clips from the anime and some original footage (for example there’s a bit where Great Ape Goku is destroying Pilaf’s castle and the other protagonists are fleeing towards the camera that doesn’t happen in the actual anime). The most annoying thing about the opening title is the theme tune … because it’s such an ear worm! I don’t know if it’s just because of the volume of Dragon Ball I’ve been watching, but I can’t stop humming it … even if the singing is at times incomprehensible (seriously, I had no idea what any of the lyrics were until I searched them up). 

So, the actual anime. We are introduced to Goku through the means of a narrator. Immediately we can see that Goku is no ordinary boy, even without considering his tail, as he effortlessly carries an entire block of wood and chops it up as if it were butter. His chores done, he goes in to tell his ‘grandpa’ he’s going to go find something to eat. And by ‘grandpa’ he means his Dragon Ball.

Did somebody … say .. Dragon … Ball?

It’s unclear why Goku calls his Dragon Ball grandpa, as he seems to understand ‘his’ grandpa is indeed dead, and this is simply an object he owned, but each to their own. After a casual encounter with an angry sabretooth cat (yeah, for some reason, the Dragon Ball universe features a world where humans happily coincide with anthropomorphised animals and also dinosaurs [and other prehistoric creatures]. Because why not. Everything’s better with dinosaurs) that establishes Goku’s fearlessness (read: carefree disregard for dangerous animals and people, because Goku knows he can kick their asses), Goku uses his tail to fish for fish. 

I want to take a moment to talk about Goku’s tail, because something is bothering me. Obviously monkey’s have furry tails because the rest of their body is furry. Same goes for most other creatures. But Goku is furless. He is as hairy as a normal young boy.

Apart from that sweetass spiky hairdo.

So shouldn’t his tail be as hairless? It should just be a pink hairless tail. I mean, I would say they wanted to avoid it looking like a long backside-protuding penis … but well we see Goku’s actual penis many, many, many times when he’s naked … and it’s not as if the Japanese shy from such things as implicit sexual innuendo. But whatever.

On his way back from fishing, with his prize, a giant fish (also establishing Goku’s trait as a big eater), Goku is almost run over by a blue-haired teenage girl. This is Bulma. Goku mistakes the car for a monster and attacks it (also establishing Goku’s lack of knowledge of modern society, having grown up in near-solitude most of his life in a forest – also there’s a lot of establishing going on, which is fair enough. We are on the first episode). Bulma then proceeds to shoot Goku in the face with a gun!!!!! I mean, sure he did just throw you violently away, but this guy is a kid and you are just cold-bloodingly shooting him!!! YOU ARE A TEENAGE GIRL AND YOU SEEM PERFECTLY WILLING TO KILL A YOUNG ADULT! WOW! (Dragon Ball Wiki informs me that this was cut in the Ocean Group dub, somewhat understandably). 

Bulma: Teenager, Explorer, Dragon Ball hunter, perfectly willing to kill a small child.

The bullets to nothing to Goku but sting him (reestablishing Goku’s strength and superhumanness). It is enough to provoke Goku so somewhat savvily instead of just shooting at him (like the trigger-happy murderess she is) she tries to convince him that she is a human girl! Goku believes her, and after she tries to explain to him what a car is, he expresses confusion to her lack of a tail. 

And here we get this interesting bit. Goku then tries to lift up Bulma’s skirt to see where her tail is. She understandably is freaked out by this. Goku then invites Bulma to his house for dinner (because Grandpa Gohan taught Goku always be nice to girls) and then proposes that they play together. Bulma misinterprets Goku’s use of play to me of the fore- variety, and gets snappy, until she realises that Goku means actual playing and then she giggles and blushes?!?! Okay, first of all, I want to know what kind of people Bulma hanged around with when she was 12 (later established to be Goku’s age – I think, 11 or 12 or something) that when she thinks a 12 year old boy invites her to play she thinks he means the sexual type. I mean, sure, the age people are getting introduced to the concept of sex is getting steadily younger, but seriously?! Why would that be the first thing that comes into your mind?!? Jeez, Bulma … oh, but it gets worse.

Here we have the exposition scene where Bulma explains to Goku what a Dragon Ball is, how there are seven (the magic number!) and if they are put together, they summon a Dragon who grants them one wish. Bulma’s wish is to have a boyfriend … yeaaaaaah … you can wish for anything in the entire world, and she wants a boyfriend. I mean, in the black and white portrayal of girls in animes (you know, they’re not exactly the most progressive of portrayals) as Bulma isn’t portrayed as ugly, we have to assume she’s good looking and attractive (and the attention she gets from certain characters would seem to confirm this), so one has to wonder what massive defect Bulma has that is preventing her from having a boyfriend. I mean, it’s not as if she’s wishing for true love or anything. Just a boyfriend. Understandably, Goku doesn’t want to surrender his only keepsake of his grandpa so Bulma can get this childish wish (well, being naiive, Goku wouldn’t understand Bulma’s wish. He’s just reluctant to give away his Grandpa). And THEN Bulma offers to STRIP for Goku in return for the Dragon Ball. YES, Bulma, who I am assuming is a late-teen, is offering to STRIP to a pre-pubescent child in return for an object … I’ll let that speak to itself. Thankfully, Goku doesn’t understand why that would be at all an incentive, and Bulma remains thankfully clothed, and offers a more sensible and surprisingly mature alternative. They go into a partnership, so Goku can keep his Dragon Ball on him and also protect Bulma while she searches for the other four (she already had two) Dragon Balls. 

I’ll also take this moment to talk about this particular aspect of Dragon Ball. Now, both Wikipedia and the Dragon Ball Wiki tell me that the English dubs of Dragon Ball censor out the nudity and sexual innuendo (as well as some of the not-actually-that-graphic-but-think-of-the-children blood). Now, I am watching a version of Dragon Ball, which is dubbed into English (I know this because they’re speaking English). But all the stuff is in here. The sexual innuendo and the nudity. I might think that I’m watching the Japanese version that someone has replaced with the English dub audio, but a. the title cards are in English, and b. the English dub doesn’t follow the exact same run time as some scenes are cut out all together and it would require more work than I would imagine anyone would do. 

Apparently the Avatar version of a munchkin.

Here, along with his right hand ‘men’, Shu (a dog) and Mai (a tall woman) (and thus neither actually are men), we have the primary antagonists of this saga. Pilaf has the unoriginal ambition to rule the world, and decides to go about this by using his wish (a more worthwhile wish than a boyfriend, so I’m actually rooting for him, at the moment). In this short establishing scene we are introduced to Pilaf’s bumbling, cartoonish nature – a stark contrast to the evil, intimating and competent destructive nature of the villains I am familiar with from Dragon Ball Z.

Back to Bulma and Goku where we are introduced to capsules. Small capsules that fit in your hand that when primed and thrown transform from anything from a rice cooker to a house! I must say, such technologies would have extremely massive repercussions to everyday life. I’m not gonna get into it because a. I’m tired, b. I’m lazy and c. I’m not going to insult your intelligence. But just think for half a minute, and you can probably imagine. Then again, we’re not yet shown the costs nor the work needed to produce one capsule, so perhaps not.

Anyway Bulma makes a house and insists that Goku takes a bath. Goku doesn’t know what one is (?!??!, did Gohan never bathe him?!?! That seems poor parenting. It’s also confusing because shortly it establishes Goku does wash himself. Was he simply unfamiliar with that word? I suppose it makes sense, as they didn’t actually have a bath at his house), so Bulma is forced to unclothe him and wash him herself. At this point she realises Goku’s tail is real and not stuck on (understandable, considering it is covered in brown fur, which as I mentioned, Goku has none of elsewhere) and is repulsed. There is then a genuinely funny moment where Bulma wonders if all boys have tails (she’s never seen one naked before), but relaxes when Goku tells her Gohan didn’t have one.

While searching for food, disliking the food that Bulma has with her, Goku sees Shu and Mai in a plane, searching for Dragon Balls. Confusing it for a bird, Goku knocks it down. It crashes into a valley full of wolves, which are prevented from killing Mai and Shu by Goku, who has decided he wants wolf for his supper. After effortlessly fighting them off, he brings home a wolf to cook and eat (but he has to do it outside because Bulma understandably doesn’t want it in her house).

Throughout the show so far, characters have been exclaiming constantly about ‘balls’, of course referring to Dragon Balls. I don’t know if they referred to them as such in DBZ, but even if they did, I wouldn’t have been as amused by the rampant use of the word ‘balls’ when I was that old as I am now. I had been wondering if the writers were aware of the innuendo. Until now.
Bulma doesn’t want Goku to sleep in her bed with her, despite Goku’s innocent assertions that there is enough room. However, in the morning, Goku wakes up early and, to prove there is enough room lies on the bed, using Bulma’s groin (?!?!?) as a pillow. Not feeling a bulge, he feels them (?!?!??) and worryingly exclaims to Bulma that her balls have been stolen! (!!!!!!!!!) At this point , I think my wondering has been answered. The writers are aware of the innuendo. Also Goku learns a life lesson. Two actually. One: Girls don’t have testicles. Two: This is a good way to work out what gender someone is – by slapping their groin and feeling for balls.

They put in a slap sound effect and everything!!!!!

Remember … this is an anime … for kids.

Goku and Bulma then encounter a turtle, who has somehow got lost and ended up this far into mainland. Goku picks the turtle up and starts to run to the sea, pausing relatively momentarily to beat the crap out of a bear who wanted to eat them. Bulma has to keep up on a motorbike. You may think that Goku’s almost invulnerable status and his repeated effortless beatings get boring … but nope! I tell you, there’s nothing more satisfying then seeing a small (albeit superhuman) kid beating the tar out of bad guys. And it never gets any less satisfying as it goes on.

As a reward for returning him to the sea, Turtle fetches his master, Roshi, so that he can reward him. Roshi rewards Goku with a Flying Nimbus (the Flying Carpet was at the cleaners), a golden cloud that can only be ridden by those of pure heart. Roshi falls through it but Goki (despite his groin slapping tenancies) is able to ride it. Flying off to test his new found mode of aerial transportation, Goku leaves Bulma with Roshi and Turtle. Spotting a Dragon Ball hanging from Roshi’s neck, Bulma asks for it as a reward for helping. Roshi is more than happy to … in exchange for peek show (!!!!!). I am somewhat familiar with Roshi, remembering him from DBZ, but I imagine all lustful tendencies were cut or not included in that anime, because this is a bit of a shock. Bulma, deciding her dignity comes second to gaining Dragon Balls. So she lifts her nightgown up and reveals her panties to Roshi.

Except Goku took off her panties earlier, while searching for her balls. Bulma seems unaware of this. Now, I’m not a girl …

Me (left) – girls (right)

… but wouldn’t you be able to tell if you weren’t wearing underwear? I mean, when I wear pyjama bottoms, I don’t tend to wear underwear, and I can tell. I suppose girls wouldn’t have … certain elements that might assist in telling if their groinal area is enclosed in clothing, but Bulma has since ridden a motorbike and stood near the sea (which tend to me, if even slightly, breezy). And she still couldn’t tell? Huh …

Anyway, this peep show apparently has enough of an effect on Roshi that blood burst from his nose in quite some volume. And Bulma has won yet another Dragon Ball! I must say, they are making much better progress than I expected. We’re on the third episode and they have in their possession four of the seven Dragon Balls. At this rate the show will be over in a couple of more episodes … what’s that? There’s 150 more episodes? Huh … okay. Well, with their prizes, the duo return home, where Bulma finds her panties, realises (finally) that she wasn’t wearing them, and flips out at Goku, firing a machine gun at him (?!??! Again?!?!?! This girl is sure trigger-happy!!!)

We are now introduced to Oolong. In exchange for a Dragon Ball, Goku and Bulma promise to rid a city of a shapeshifting monster who has been stealing their girls. Goku dresses in a dress to disguise himself as Oolong’s next target (oh, and he also slaps said target in the groin, to check if she’s a girl or not – he slaps the old woman who is offering the Dragon Ball in the groin. I really don’t want to think about it), and thus offers himself as bait.

Oolong then appears as a satanic creature in a white tuxedo. In an attempt to woo his kidnapee, he then turns into a handsome man. Bulma, in a moment of idioticness that is even uncharacteristic of her (and that’s saying something), bursts out of hiding and starts to flirt with Oolong, despite having just seen him transform from the monster, and well aware of his kidnapping ways. Oolong also has an interest in Bulma (particularly as she’s flashing for him [?!?!?]), but for some reason seems indecisive between this teenager and the young girl he was originally going to take – until he spots said ‘girl’ taking a leak (Goku really needed the bathroom and is also rubbish at being in disguise). Rather than realise he is being tricked and this is a boy disguised as the girl he was going to kidnap, he assumes the girl he was going to kidnap was actually a boy all along. Goku gets ready to fight Oolong, who has transformed into a bull, but then Oolong (who the title of the episode assures me is Terrible) flees. Goku chases after him, but after turning a corner, only spots a pig. The pig is Oolong and this is obvious to the audience but not Goku. However as Goku is established as being rather thick, we can forgive him for not realising this.

Ooolong then explains (to no one in particular … us, I guess?) that he failed shape-shifting chool and so can only shape shift for 5 mins at a time – and that he kidnaps girls because he keeps getting dumped otherwise. Thank you for that exposition. Soon after Goku finds Oolong, who tried to flee by transforming into various flying things, but flies for more than five mins, so he turns into his pig form (which can famously not fly) and has to be rescued by Goku on the Nimbus. He is then forced to take the villagers to his ‘shack’ (yes, ‘shack’) where the three kidnapped girls are living a life of spoiled luxury. Oolong pleads the villagers to take the girls back as they keep asking Oolong for favours and are becoming too much (which raises the question as to why he was going to kidnap a fourth girl, but I won’t pretend to understand how perverted minds work). Goku and Bulma are awarded their fifth Dragon Ball! 😀

Oolong joins the team (because Bulma thinks he’ll be useful [also Goku slaps Oolong’s groin to see if he’s a boy or not]) and they travel through a desert where they are attacked by a bandit called Yamcha, who wants to rob them. Goku and Yamcha fight, in the first real example of what Dragon Ball and more so Dragon Ball Z will be famous for – their elaborate fight scenes. Goku, however, is weak from hunger, and so is knocked into a several rocks. Yamcha assumes this is a victory, but being knocked through rocks is nothing to Goku, who gets up not long after. They are about to recommence duelling when Bulma, who had passed out in the desert earlier due to the heat, wakes up. Yamcha is apparently gunephobic, fleas at the sight of her.

While the team camp out in Oolong’s double-decker motorhome, Shu and Mai and Yamcha and Puar (Yamcha’s friend who Dragon Ball Wiki tells me is a cat – so apparently cats are able to levitate … Also Puar went to the same school as Oolong, but wasn’t expelled, so is able to hold a form) separately plot to attack the team. Shu and Mai plan to blow them up (safe with the knowledge that Dragon Balls are invulnerable), but accidentally stick the bomb to themselves, and are forced to flee until they can work out how to unstick it (Shu is able to alter the detonation time, to give them such time). Yamcha and Puar overhear Goku expositioning to Oolong about Dragon Balls, and decide to steal them, but then Yamcha sees Bulma naked in the shower and flees (remember – this is a show for kids). Yamcha decides that he has no need for money (he has apparently never been a student!) or power, but instead not to be scared of girls. I guess it’s still a more worthwhile cause than simply getting a boyfriend, so yay for him. They decide to steal them, as does Oolong. So what follows is a scene where Oolong drugs Goku and Bulma, then goes into Bulma’s room to steal the balls (and her panties?!?!). Puar transforms into Goku in order to trick Bulma into leaving the motorhome so Yamcha can enter. Oolong believes that Goku has woken up early from his drug, so transforms into Bulma so Goku won’t grass on him to Bulma, Puar!Goku leads Oolong!Bulma outside. Yamcha enters the bus, goes into Bulma’s room, and mistakes either Bulma’s breasts or her butt for the balls under the bedsheets and goes to get them, lifts bedsheet, sees Bulma and flees screaming. And that’s that. Oh, and if you think the transforming shapeshifters will be confusing, don’t. Their disguises are caricatures, and only convincing to the characters within.

Next morning, Shu and Mai plant the bomb. Bulma demands spare clothes – but the only ones Oolong has are … a playboy bunny outfit (?!?!?) (Remember … this is a kids show). Despite her protests, Bulma is forced to put it on as there is nothing else. Fair enough … but then I don’t get why she also felt the need to also put on the rabbit ears and bow tie …………

This is a kid’s show. Remember that.

Yamcha then decides to steal the Balls again … by blowing up the bus!!! He does so, which only knocks out Bulma. Goku, who is no longer hungry, punches Yamcha in the face, knocking a tooth out. Yamcha is aghast, believing his chances at getting a date nulled, and flees in shame. The team are now forced to walk, as their bus is destroyed. Shu and Mai (not unreasonably) believe their bomb destroyed the bus, and enter to search for Dragon Balls. And so dramatic irony occurs and their bomb explodes, but they survive.

The team are despondent about their lack of transport, until Yamcha, in apparent good faith, gives them a car. Goku trusts Yamcha’s reasons and they take it. Naturally, the car is bugged wit ha tracker, as Yamcha decides to steal the Dragon Balls after the team have done all the work to collect all seven, which is actually a good plan.

The team then arrive at the Fire Mountain, where the feared Ox-King lives (although Goku is characteristically unfrightened, and Bulma has enough confidence in Goku’s strength, so only Oolong is scared). When they meet the Ox-King, he is initially hostile, believing them to be robbers. However, upon realising that Goku was flying on the Flying Nimbus, the Ox-King realises Goku knows Master Roshi, his old master, and upon seeing Goku’s power pole (a magic pole Goku has been carrying around that can apparently extend indefinitely by command and is invulnerable), realises Goku is Gohan’s grandson, someone who Ox-King was like a brother too. The two bond, and the Ox-King asks Goku if he can find Roshi again to borrow the Bansho Fan to extinguish the flames on his mountain that prevent him from going home, as well as to find his daughter Chi-Chi who he sent off to find Roshi and hasn’t returned. If he does this, the Ox-King promises, he can marry Chi-Chi (??!?!? I mean, I know this guy is the grandson of your closest friend, but you only just met him and he’s like 12 and okay). Goku doesn’t understand what marriage is, but goes anyway in order to help the Ox-King. He finds Chi-Chi, who instantly falls in love with him, despite Goku smacking her groin to determine her gender. We also learn that if you grab Goku’s tail, it weakens him. Yamcha overhears this – clearly this will be important in upcoming episodes.

Goku and Chi-Chi bring back Roshi sans Fan, as he had thrown it away. However in return for a ‘date’ with Bulma, Roshi uses a Kamehameha wave to take out the fire (but also destroys the Ox-King’s house). If aren’t ware, Kamehameha is a trademark aspect to the franchise. It is to Dragon Ball what lightsabers are to Star Wars. It will feature heavily in DBZ, and quite extravagantly too, so seeing the first ever screen depiction of it is quite exciting for me. Despite Roshi’s insistence that the technique would take 50 years to pefect, Goku manages to perform a small version of it in 50 seconds. Roshi is in awe until the Ox-King explains to Roshi that Goku is Gohan’s grandson. Bulma finds the Dragon Ball, and then uses Oolong to cover for her in her date with Roshi, by transforming into her. Oolong!Bulma gets his own back on Bulma for making him do this by flashing his (her?) breasts at Roshi, causes his knows to practically explode. Remember, this show is for kids!!!

What follows is what’s known as a filler episode. An episode which doesn’t really add anything to the plot or the saga, but is in here anyway. To summarise, the team + Yamcha and Puar find a city terrorised by a giant rabbit called Monster Carrot and his Rabbit Mob. Monster Carrot turns everyone he touches into a carrot. Bulma gets turned into a carrot, Yamcha and Goku team up to defeat him, then Goku takes Monster Carrot to the Moon (that’s apparently how far his Power Pole can extend) and abandons them there, forcing them to make treats for children. Yeah, it is that crazy of an episode. It has to be watched to be believed. This is also the second example of an extended fight, although we are yet to get into the multi-episode fight scenes DBZ would become famous for. Also Bulma finally gets out of her rabbit outfit (thankfully) and puts on some normal clothes.

On their way to the final Dragon Ball, the one Pilaf has in his castle, Shu, inside a mecha suit, steals their Dragon Balls and destroys their transport. However, Goku still has the one he owns on his person. Yamcha offers to team up with them and they all approach Pilaf’s castle, where they are soon caught in a trap. Pilaf gasses them and steals the last Dragon Ball. Leaving the door to their cell open by accident, the team momentarily escape, but are soon trapped back in the cell after an extended scene where they are chased by a giant pinball … really, it was a scene that went on for far too long, but okay.

BUT, more importantly, Pilaf now has ALL seven Dragon Balls in his grasp. I must say, even though I know that the team will somehow stop Pilaf, the anime does a really good job at maintaining suspense. Goku blasts a small hole out of his cell that allow a shape-shifted Oolong and Puar to escape through. Even then, it seems they are too late as the Dragon is summoned.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR

And then Oolong runs in and wishes for the world’s most comfortable panties before a nervous and awe-stricken Pilaf can ask for world domination.

Not even Febreze can compete with this!

I must admit, I found this a tad anti-climatic. I mean, Oolong could’ve wished for anything, heck, even the billions of money he mentioned a couple of episodes ago. But if he wants panties … well, it’s his wish. And judging by the face he made when they landed on his head, they do seem to be very comfy panties.

Pilaf is understandably pissed off, especially as the Dragon Balls are scattered across the world and rendered inert for an entire year. The team are put into a reinforced prison with a a glass ceiling, so they will be baked alive. As the group await their fate, Goku mentions that a monster comes out on a full moon like today, as one did many years before and trampled Gohan to death. When pressed for more informatiin, Goku admits he slept through it. To their credit, the team are uncharacteristically savvy, and realise that Goku is the monster. Bulma than characteristically acts stupid and tells Goku to not look at the Moon. So Goku looks at the Moon. And turns into a Giant Ape.

He tramples over the castle, freeing the team but destroying nearly everything else. Pilaf attempts to kill Goku via machine guns on his plane during his escape, but this is a fruitless endeavour, but does provide a nice King Kong parallel. In a blind range which apparently renders him incapable of identifying friend from foe, he grabs Bulma and appears to be about to eat her (it is possible he does recognise her, and is just sick of her whining). Yamcha, remembering what Goku said about his tail being his weakness, grabs onto it, which instantly weakens the Giant Ape. Puar turns into a giant pair of scissors (that can float) and snips off Goku’s tail. Goku then regresses back into his normal form, albeit naked and tailless.

Also apparently Pilaf sleeps in the same room as his minions, which I think is adorable.

The team decide not to tell Goku he was the cause of his grandpa’s death. Goku wakes up and does not remember his transformation. He is also understandably confused by his lack of tail, which he realises when he has trouble balancing (he quickly adapts to this though). While sharing their despondence about not being able to get a boyfriend/get over his shyness of girls, Bulma and Yamcha instantly decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Oolong has his comfy underwear (which he is wearing on his head, for some strange reason. I mean, I’m not a pig …

… but surely if you had comfy underwear, you’d use it to replace the uncomfy underwear you were wearing on your groin? But whatever.

Goku decides to go to Roshi’s to train, while the rest decide to go to the city. And so they part ways.

Wow … that was decidedly longer than I had planned. I will carry on next time with the Tournament Saga. After which I will be posting regular smaller blogs as I continue my watch. Until next time!

The Dragon Ball franchise is copyright of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. Most screen caps are thus owned by them and used in this blog under Fair Use. The Dragon Ball logo (by Toei Animation) and the image of girls (by Garuhape) used in this blog are also released under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Pig image by Ben Salter released under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Scenes from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Princeare copyright of Warner Bros., and are used under Fair Use.